From a business perspective, I can understand how this may not be a smart post for me to write.

But I’ve never been much for business. I’m an artist.

I’ve been doing photography for four years now and it has saved me in more ways than one. I grew up being overweight.. feeling pretty alone and outcasted. I found comfort  in food, books, and imagining what my life would be like if I could be pretty, or have a boyfriend. For the longest time, I thought all I had to offer the world was to just to loose weight, be an attractive girl, and be an amazing girlfriend to a boy who’d have me.

I hoped for it. Year after year I wished I had a boyfriend. I thought if I did that I’d feel whole. That I could find a way to be pretty on the outside, people would love me. But day after day, a boyfriend never came. I did a lot of things I really regret in search of that acceptance and I failed a lot of diets. I let myself get really unhealthy, I chose to believe a lot of bad things about myself, and I was always desperate to prove that I was someone worth loving…Even when that meant buying my friendships.

After a while, my heart got jaded. I started rejecting people before they could reject me. I Bottled myself up, developed a social paranoia, and fell into depression.

Until I found photography. I found my love and passion for creating an image and making the world see the way I see.  That was my connection. When someone looks at my photography, for a second, they are connected to me… to something I made.  And they can appreciate it, or hate it… but either way, they’re listening. They’re not just judging me by what I look like anymore, but by what I created. By what I have to say and show. They’re forced to judge me on my worth as a person, not just the worth they’ve been taught to attribute my physical characteristics.

All my friends, except one, who have come to learn an accept me as a person, have been brought into my life because of my photography. If I’d never picked up that camera, if I’d never put that person hidden behind my overweight body out there, I wouldn’t know any of them. My art helps me communicate and connect in a way I never could in person.

And my art… it’s enough. I don’t feel anymore like all I have to offer is being somebody’s girlfriend. I have so much more to say and leave behind. so much I want to do and change.

Most of my shoots that you see, I do just because I love to…because I’d literally go crazy if I wasn’t creating. I’d be in that dark place of self pity and depression all over again. and I never want to be there again, I’ve wasted enough of my life playing that game.

 

ANYWAYS…

 

The reason I am writing this is because I need your help… but I’m honestly not asking for hand outs.

 

I need to save another $3,000 to be able to buy the lighting equipment, lens, and mac book pro I need to be able to travel and create the art I love. I currently only own one light. I have access to more lights at my co-op studio, but they don’t belong to me and I can’t take them on location or traveling at my leisure. I’ve never been much of a “gear head” when it comes to photography… I’ve always just been concerned about the end result, not what equipment It took to take the photo. But I’ve reached a point where “rigging” can only take my work so far, and I’m ready to create the best portfolio I can so I can start actively making a career out of my passion.

 

I’m willing to work as hard as I need to to make that money. Typically, during the winter most people aren’t hitting me up to book shoots. But I’m honestly asking you, begging you, that if you are in need of any photo or design services… please have a look at my rates and consider reaching out and booking with me in the upcoming weeks. I know I’m not the only artist out there with dreams, but if you’d consider helping supporting mine…..it would mean more to me than you could HONESTLY ever know.

If you are not in need of design or photography services, but would still like to help… you can make a purchase from www.declaredclothing.com, donate using paypal below, or link this blog post to your Facebook page to get the word out to others.

 

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